You've decided you want to make some changes at home. My clients often have a lot of reasons for wanting to make changes in whatever season they are in. Have you stopped to think what is motivating you and why?

The success of any project or goal we have depends on our motivation. We can use extrinsic or intrinsic motivation. One is not better than the other. One is not better than the other. But awareness around our motivation and expectations can help us avoid disappointment. Read the descriptions below to figure out which one your motivation and expectations.

• EXTRINSIC
• This is a motivation that seeks external rewards. The rewards could be tangible such as money, or intangible like praise. Extrinsic motivation is purely focused outside rewards. When you are extrinsically motivated, you may continue to perform a task, even though it might not be in and of itself rewarding.
• Sometimes the external reward we want is to avoid a punishment, judgement, or criticism. For many years, I was motivated to tidy my home because I worried about judgement from other people. I thought other people might make comments behind my back because of the messiness of my house.
• Here is the beauty of extrinsic motivation. It is VERY motivating for someone like me. I worried a lot about what others thought of me. I would do almost ANYTHING to avoid criticism or disappointing someone. External rewards CAN be really effective and useful to help you stay on task or stay motivated.
• Often times, we can use extrinsic motivation to get us started. It can bring us a reward we seek. If this gets you started, I'm so happy about that! Channel what you have - and if what you have right now is external motivation, use it.
• Extrinsic motivation is dangerous when our expectation is that we will receive something for our work. Then, if we don’t get it, we will feel upset and lose all motivation.
• It is good to get you started, but it may not carry you all the way to the end of your goal. You would need to constantly get the reward you want, when you want it. Like praise from a spouse (or avoided criticism) right when you feel you need it.
• This motivation seeks an outcome you CANNOT control. The good news is that you can morph it into intrinsic motivation which is a higher form of motivation.

• INTRINSIC
• Intrinsic motivation is doing something because it's satisfying, not because you want a specific outcome. You perform a task well simply because you enjoy it, find it fulfilling, or feel a sense of pride.
• You enjoy an activity or see it as an opportunity to explore, learn, and actualize our potential. Not because you don't want to get into trouble or you want a specific external reward.
• Don’t get this confused though. Intrinsically motivated behaviors do come with their own rewards. But these rewards involve creating positive emotions within you. This is still an INTERNAL reward, not an external one. Your motivation can give you a sense of meaning or progress. Your work accomplishes something positive. You see your skills growing and that you're able to tackle harder projects or problems.
• One major factor that can influence intrinsic motivation is control. When you take control over yourself and your environment, you have the capacity to explore other interests.
• This motivation seeks an outcome you CAN control.

So what is motivating you to get your house minimized and organized? Are you comparing yourself to your neighbor? Do you worry about what your mom or husband or friend will say if they walk into a cluttered home? The danger with this motivation is that you may put in all the work to get their praise and they may NEVER give it to you. What then? Was all your work a waste of time?

Or are you motivated by the fact that you can reach your highest potential? Or feel the greatest amount of joy when you're at home? Do you control your environment so you have more time to pour yourself into other interests? So you have time and capacity to do reading, crafts, sports, art, cooking, movie nights… the list goes on. The beauty of this motivation is that no matter what other people say, your reward has come from inside of you. You didn't have to receive someone else's praise to know if you've done a good job.

You may be on a spectrum of extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. That’s okay! I've flowed between the two before. The most sustainable way to keep a tidy home is to be motivated by a desire to reach your highest potential. It should not only be about making someone else in your life happy.